Friday May 22

Tin Man: Morning! Last night was festive (cute, he's using one of my words)

Me: it was festive. Thanks for messing up my hair. (we made out last night and my hair looked like Einstein's in the morning)

Tin Man: No prob, rockstar. ;)

Me: How's your heart doing? (he had to go the doctor to get an echo)

Tin Man: They said it's nothing serious. Phew!

Me: Oh good. Well I make a really good nurse if you need one.

Tin Man: a hot nurse.

Me: I'll get my stethoscope ready.

Tin Man: Thanks, I'll get a giant napkin that opens in the back

Of course I am wondering, ummmmm hello why aren't you asking me out again? But I figured he likes me and I like him, so let's see where this goes. I went away for the weekend and when I came back on Sunday, I was still thoroughly perplexed that he had not made his move. So I wrote:

Sunday May 24

Me: so is that giant napkin ready?

Tin Man: ha..... working on it. :)

Me: good because I was hoping to use that nurse's outfit soon.

Tin Man: :)

WTF?! What kind of red blooded straight male has a smiley face for an answer to that? I pretty much said come over and fuck me with my nurse's outfit on (which by the way I really do have).

Some time passes and feeling irritated I write:

Me: Soooo I'm beginning to wonder if we're ever going to use that outfit.

Hours later while I'm on a date with another guy I get:

Tin Man: aw..... I'm just busy.... sorry about being remiss....I was into it. We're gonna use that outfit!

Feeling better I continue merrily on my date all the time thinking about Tin Man.

Monday 25, 2009

Me: Good, because my date last night is only into maid outfits.

Tin Man: ha... big LOSER!!!! did you wear it for him?

Me: I'm a lady, I'm not going to kiss and tell.

Tin Man: My lady!

So I'm still wondering when the fuck he's going to get it together. I'm not sure what he's waiting for, but I decide I'm not going to wait around to find out. If he wants to hang out he knows where I am.

Fast forward to:

Sunday May 31

Tin Man: wanna get brunch at 11?

Brunch?? Fuck that, we haven't even slept together and he wants to get brunch. Not to mention the fact that he's asking me out as if I'm one of his buddies. Is it too much to ask that a guy ask you out ahead of time and treat you to a nice date? With all the money I spend on my hair, makeup, and waxing, I don't want to go out to brunch. I begin to wonder if he's deformed or perhaps shortchanged below the belt.

I decide to not answer.

Monday June 8

Tin Man: I guess you're not interested since you didn't answer? Are you with that other guy?

Me: I didn't answer because I am only interested in guys that are available and ready to date. And you don't seem like you are.

Tin Man: well I understand...I'm sorry I couldn't be more available the past few weeks. You're super fun tho, so stay in touch, perhaps our time will come.

Me: You're right I am super fun. But I'm super popular too, so I won't be waiting around.

Tin Man: So I've completely missed the window? I guess it wasn't that hot.

Me: Are you asking for another chance?

Tin Man: If you'll give me one

Me: Ok, but you'd better make it good. :)

At this point the convo continued, until I mentioned wanting to go to Coney Island. Then..... no response. Needless to say I was PISSED. This was a level of absurdity that I had never experienced before. I waited until the next day until I couldn't take it anymore. I simply had to know what could have possessed this jackass to fall off the face of the earth after all that.

Wednesday June 10

Me: Not a fan of Coney Island?

Tin Man: ha... not really.... what do you like about it?

Me: I'm not sure if ur scared of dating or sex or girls or u like random texting, but this getting old. You still have yet to ask me out again. I don't have time for this. Take care.

Tin Man: I was gonna ask you if you want to hang tonight or tomorrow night, but then you mentioned coney island, and I was thinking about this weekend but I have obligations to help with a friend's wedding this weekend so I was asking you what it was you liked about coney island what we could satisfy another way. Texting doesn't have to be random if you respond quickly, but you don't.

WOW. Talk about thinking too much. Tin Man was more analytical than any of my girlfriends on their worst days of PMS.

Me: It doesn't take three weeks to ask a girl out. Indecisiveness is not attractive. Grow a set. Bye.

Needless to say that was the end of me and the Tin Man. I hope he actually learned something from that situation. But my guess is he's still thinks he's picking up girls when in reality he's just chasing his tail.

Like I said before, he just doesn't have any balls.